I am a (Good) Dancer

One year I was invited to conduct some research with a group of dancers through the Choreographic Platform. In the course of this workshop questions came up about the challenges intrinsic to the work being undertaken. At one point I asked the dancers to come up with movement they were good at. The workshop rapidly ground to a halt. After a little enquiry it became apparent that the reason no one felt they could achieve the task was because they felt that there was in fact nothing they could do well. As the choreographer and key observer in the room I felt that this was patently absurd. I had been repeatedly amazed at the individual skills and generosity of the participants. So I steered the task towards contemplating an 'I statement" then discussing responses. What ensued was a discussion that took up the rest of the afternoon. The dancers felt this statement was too challenging to say out loud. It was simply this: "I AM A GOOD DANCER" Every dancer in the room felt that it was impossible to or even a little dangerous to say that statement with any real conviction or justification. The reasons behind these objections were a familiar variation on a theme for anyone who is or has ever been a dancer. Examples were "wrong body shape/overweight" "not flexible / strong / fast / dynamic / musical / experienced enough" "am never offered any work so I mustn’t be good enough" "not very fast at learning movement" "I ask too many questions / am not obedient enough" etc. What it seemed to come back to again and again was a feeling of low self worth as a dancer. This begs the question - WHY? As stated earlier in this essay we work in relatively impoverished conditions and this can and does have a debilitating effect on morale. The primary emotional response under current conditions to the success of a peer is usually jealousy. But there are other factors at work here. The negative ideas and attitudes become evident when listening to the conversations that dancers have when they get together, & by observing how they behave towards one another in class and in work. There are astronomical expectations and demands that they themselves place on their own abilities to deliver. There is a kind of callousness that is common place amongst choreographers and teachers towards the dancers and towards their own peers. There is a lack of generosity when appraising each others work. I have not met a dancer who does not have an overdeveloped ability to be critical of themselves & others. There are dancers who attempt to compensate for this by inflating their own sense of stature and self importance (an absurd and redundant behavior in a culture that barely even recognizes contemporary dance) There is an abundance of tertiary dance students who act as if they genuinely believe their knowledge and abilities surpass those of current working practitioners. There are extraordinarily talented freelancers who cannot accept a compliment about their abilities to save themselves. How has this happened? I was having a conversation with a colleague recently, a choreographer. This colleague had been teaching at Unitec and had come across a student who was unable to perform handstands because of arthritis in her wrists. Disbelief at this students even considering a career in dance let alone being accepted on a dance course was expressed along with the comment "... y’,know there are dancers and then there are dancers" If that were true then Catherine Chappell’s 'Touch Compass' would be discredited as a dance company. Statements like this are dangerously false. It is more of a graphic indication of the mentality that underpins the disillusionment experienced all too often by the dancer in New Zealand. I believe that there is an insidious elitism at the heart of this unhealthy psychology. and I believe that it's roots lie deep in the womb of modern dance - ballet. Not in the technical aspect of ballet but in a preposterous and over simplistic point of view that needs to be thought about more sensibly. That point of view is a belief that in order to be a good dancer one must have extraordinary technique and that this, and this alone is the yard stick for measuring ones self worth as a dancer. I am not disqualifying technique nor the work that needs to be done to become a dancer. I believe that form and clarity are critical aspects of quality communication. What I am saying is there is no celebration or even validation of the extraordinary diversity that exists in the community. There is a mentality of "put up or shut up" in class and rehearsal. What does it take to feel good about oneself as a dancer? Isn’t it about time we did?